Privacy, Please!

If there’s one thing we knew about J.D. Salinger, it was that he was a man who valued his privacy. The man was as famous for his status as literature’s number one recluse as he was for any of the brief novels and stories he published in his lifetime. And so what better way than to honor the memory of this great American author and his lifelong wish for a private life, than by buying his toilet? Yes, that’s right, now you too can own a piece of literary history in the white porcelain form of a toilet salvaged from J.D. Salinger’s home in Cornish, New Hampshire. Mr. Salinger’s commode has shown up recently on eBay for the low, low (low flow?) price of $1,000,000. And just so you know you’re not getting short changed, the seller assures you that this toilet bowl “owned AND used” by the author will be coming to you uncleaned, just as J.D. left it. And while many readers are eagerly awaiting the possible publication of the manuscripts Salinger was rumored to have been working on and locking away in his vault for all his years in seclusion, you alone, as proud new owner of his crapper can speculate just like this item’s seller, and wonder “how many of these stories were thought up and written while Salinger sat on his throne!” So if you’ve got a cool million you’d like to flush down the toilet, don’t worry, somebody’s got you covered.